Okay. Hi. So thank you for joining me on this little limited series, well Resourced Woman. As I mentioned in the first episode that I put on the Leadership is Feminine podcast, I want to talk with you about really what I have, over the years that I've worked with, with women specifically, have sort of tried to, I always try and distill down kind of what is the, what is going on here? Why, why are there so many women who are wrangling with so many of the same decisions, challenges, experiences in their businesses that then also have life impact and maybe vice versa? Life impact that bleeds into business. Right. And so one of the things that I have said sort of organically for a while is that there are these real core relationships that we have to develop as women in the primary elements of our lives. And I think that they're a little bit different than what we're, you know, taught in order to live a good life as a human. And so that's what this podcast series is about, is giving you some other ways to think and maybe reinforce some things that, you know, that you dismissed or tucked away because you don't really want to think about it.

But in the work that I do with women who run businesses, who founded businesses, who have very strategically important positions, who make very big decisions, who are responsible for a lot of revenue, who really operate, you know, in that very finite 2% of, of female business owners on the planet, there are still the very unique challenges that we all seem to face. And so I've broken down what it is that makes for a well resourced woman. And I also want to make clear that I am also in the process of this. So I don't, I don't see that I'm making you these podcast episodes and saying, look at me, I've perfected it, because I haven't. And I don't know that we ever all just perfect it. I think we get really good at a few. But I am saying listen to me, because I have the benefit of data and analytics and, you know, both quantitative and qualitative observation of hundreds, if not thousands of women. And so I feel quite qualified to share this information with you.

But I also want to humbly admit that I am too also still working on it. And so with that, let's talk about the first resource, which I don't think any of these are going to surprise you, but what I hope I do through this, this discussion with you is give you reasons why we're going to elevate it and ideas for creating solutions for Yourself. Right. So the first one I want to talk about is your time. A well resourced woman is resourced with time. Now, time and energy go together. But I'm going to treat them as two separate episodes, simp, because I, I think they need to have their own episodes. So.

But first I just want to talk about time. So I know that we're busy. I don't have to tell you that all of us are busy. My favorite is when people tell me they love to be busy. They don't know what to do with themselves if they're not busy. Now there's something wrong with that. I just think it's interesting. So why are we busy? Well, years.

A couple years. I almost feel like I could qualify this as years ago, because it was almost five years ago. I did a masterclass on being overwhelmed on how to deal with overwhelm. And the basic premise of that masterclass that I taught was that as young women, we have been infused with this insidious belief system of what it means to be a woman, and especially for hetero women who want to have a family. But even if that's not you, even if you're lgbtq, even if you choose not to have children, I think we're all still culturally infused with some things, and that is that you do the early part of your life. You, you go to school, you go to high school, you graduate high school, and then you either launch into your life or you go to college with the goal of launching into your life. But either way, there's this version of life that we have, which is we, we finish that part, that educational part, and then we get a job and. Or we get a partner and we identify who this partner will be, and we move into that relationship, and then we figure out where we're going to live, and then we figure out what we want our family structure to be, and then we get about the business of doing that.

And for many women, that's having children, right? While working for most women in this time, because most people can't afford to not work even when they have children. And then the whole version of our life is about creating a life, right? So we pick out the furniture and we pick out the decor, and we figure out the kind of food people are going to eat, and we figure out what kind of car needs we have, and we figure out what we're going to do for the holidays and whose houses we're going to go to, and we take responsibility for all of these parts of our lives. And I think most of us do that quite willingly because I think most of us are a little controlling and we like things to be our own way. But regardless, that's what we do, right? We build a life. We build a life and we, we take on a lot of the yeses through the life of that we're building. Oh no, I'll do that. I'll do that. I'll take care of that.

Yes, I'll do that. Yes, I'll do that. Yes, I'll do that. Because we, it's a, it's a season of the life that we're in. And if you add being an entrepreneur into that, that's more. Yes, I'll do that. Right. Especially when you are at the beginning phase of it.

And really as I've identified in the Sages journey that you can read about on my know, the first question we have to answer as a business owner is how am I going to do this? And so it is very centered around you and your thinking and your decision making. And so here we are, we've building this life. We've built a life, we've built a life around curating the parts the way that we want that life to look. We are actively involved in that development process. We say a lot of yeses to get there and then we build a business. And we are actively building that business through the vision that we have. And so we say a lot of yeses to get there. And then when we're 42 to 48 years old or whatever, we all of the sudden realize, oh, and by the way, we're perimenopausal, we're, we're menopausal, we're postmenopausal.

Depending on your circumstance, we have all this other crap happening chemically in our body. We wonder why we don't have any time or energy but time. Let's just look at time. Why are you traveling so much? Why are you still making all the freaking dinners? Why are you still doing laundry on the weekends? Why are you still cleaning your house? Why you're running a million doll enterprise. And even for those of you who are listening, who aren't running a million dollar company or multi million dollar company, maybe you're leading a team, you're running a division. You're right. Why are you still folding your sheets? Unless you tell me that is the thing I love the most in the world, which I know there's some of you who do love, that you love to fold a fitted sheet. I don't get that.

But listen, because, and here's. Here's why I want you to hear me say this. I'm not saying this is some white privileged woman, okay? I am actually saying this because I love that I can hire other women with the money that I make and pay them money so they have agency. I don't see this as like, mama needs to be cared for. I see this as, listen, I only have so much time in the day. I know what I should deliver on, which is this. Nobody needs me balling up a fitted sheet and shoving it in a closet. Especially when I can pay someone else who's better at it, who does enjoy it.

She puts her AirPods in. She comes to my house three days a week. She listens to her favorite podcast. We chit chat a little bit. She's my contemporary. I enjoy her tremendously. I think she would say the same with me. We have a lovely relationship and I am supporting her for her own agency.

I feel really good about that. I am buying myself time by supporting someone else financially, which is the other one of the other resources that we will talk about. What you spend time on at this point in your life is not something that should be reactive. If you have been the busy, busy, busy, busy, I'm on fire all the time until you collapse into bed woman, listen to me. You were not put on the planet to do this. Life is so much more amazing when you can find time to savor. You don't need permission to take time to yourself. You don't need an excuse to hang out with your girlfriends.

You don't need to justify when you come to a retreat with me in Hawaii. That's my favorite. I hear it all the time. People don't want their team to know they're going, right? Because there is an inherent system that bakes into us that we should feel guilt when we respect and honor our own time. It is a lie. And there are so many women who are energetically depleted because they do not manage the relationship they have with time. So what are your time sucks. Why do you continue to allow yourself to engage in activities and stuff? Why do you continue to say yes to time commitments that no longer serve you? So the first thing we have to do is really.

How so how do we know if something's serving us? How do we know if it's not just like, I just have to do these things? I mean, I'm a mother, I'm a business owner, I'm a friend. I'm a association president. I'm a. I don't know what else no, you tell me. Everybody seems to be something else other than their. The version of who they are. In reality, they're who they want to be. So one of the exercises that a client of mine told me about years ago that I've always kind of loved is.

Is. Is the one I'm going to ask you to do. It's very simple. I want you to put how I spend my time on the top of a piece of paper. You're remarkable. Your journal. Do this in the morning or in the evening, right before you're about to. Just whenever you have quiet time.

Top of paper. How I spend my time. And then I want you to make two columns and draw a line, right? So down the middle of the paper we're going to draw a line. And on the right hand side we're going to write the word love. And on the left hand side we're going to write the word Lord. I love. What do I love doing with my time? How do I love spending my time? Who do I love to be with in my time? And how do I loathe spending my time? Who do I loathe spending my time with? What do I loathe doing with this incredible resource that I have of my time? I want you to make this list. Now, my preference is that you listen to this and then you press pause and then you go do that and then you come back.

But I don't know if you'll do that. So I'm going to keep talking. But I would recommend you do that because you don't want to get the notes ahead because it might affect what you write, right? But regardless, love and loath, I want you to just write this like no one will ever read it, right? You can burn it, you can tear it up, you can throw it in the sea. Just write it like no one will read it. That used to be a huge issue for me with journaling is I would write it as if someone would find changed the way I communicated with myself as it. I'm sure might not surprise you. Now I want you to just really ask yourself, why do I do the things I loathe doing? Why do I keep saying yes to the things that I loathe? Why? And there's a few answers I'm sure that you'll get. Some will be because I have to.

Which I want you to ask yourself another why after that. Why do I have to now, like, I loathe spending my time with my CFO talking about taxes. I loathe paying my taxes, right? Although I do appreciate the more money I make, the more I pay. And so I should feel excited about that. I found plenty of finance people trying get me to believe that thought hasn't worked very well. However, I don't want to go to prison. And so therefore that loathe is sort of in this bucket of things I know I have to spend my time on because I don't want to spend my time in jail. Right.

So that to me is like, we have to. There's. We can't live a life where everything's amazing and I spend all my time being deliciously delighted. Right. I do realize that. I just know that the other reasons that most of you say that you do things that you love is because you believe you're supposed to. You have to. If you don't do it, no one else will.

If you don't do it, no one else will do it. Right. If you don't do it, so and so won't have this. There's a codependency in here for some of you on some of this. I have to do it for my husband, son, daughter, mother, because why? Why do you have to? And I think you really, really, really have to be honest with yourself because the root of why so many of us continue to invest our time in commitments and in people that we really would choose not to. If we could stop, if, if there was no like psychological consequence for you, emotional labor, consent consequence for you, would you end it? And if the answer is yes, you wouldn't do this anymore, then now we know that you're doing something for a reason that is not in your best interest. So years ago when I hired my personal assistant for my house, the genuine reason really, really was that I was so this. She started working for us.

I want to say it was like seven, six or seven years ago. And that was when, right? I had a 17 year old and I had two 14 year olds and I was building my business and my husband was working. And like, it was just like our house was like most homes I know in the world right now, it was mayhem every day we had practices and we had commitments and we had to help a school party, dinner, right? And so my house just never felt as put together as I wanted. And then of course on the weekends we had games and we had. So we just didn't have time to like have stability in the home, energetic stability in the home. I didn't have that time. And so I decided that I need someone who will create that for me. And so when I Hired Heather.

Her whole. My whole thing at the time was because my bedroom to my office was all on the same floor of the house, the downstairs. And I was like, I just want, from where I go from my room through my house, through the kitchen to my home office, I want it to be beautiful. I just want that part to look amazing. I'm not going to go upstairs to the children's rooms because that's like going to the basement, even though it's up. And I want the laundry done because if my laundry room continues to look like a frat boy's bedroom, I'm going to move out. I'm not going to divorce my family, but I'm going to move out of this house because I cannot function like this anymore. And I can afford to pay you to help me with that.

And it changed my life. And it wasn't really that complicated now. I didn't have a lot of strings attached to that. I just wanted it to be beautiful. We talked about what that looked like. Things are organized. Things have a place. Do I care where things go? She would ask me, well, do you? Is it okay if I put the coffee cups over here? I don't care.

Can it just be beautiful? Yes. And it worked. And it continues to work. And like God bless her, she still works with me. And I tell her at least once a month, please don't ever leave me because she has just made such an impact on my life just those few hours. And I know that you are worth that. So when we get to self trust and self worth, we're going to talk about that as a resource that I know you have to invest in because you are over extending yourself with time. I know.

Because you don't believe you're worth whatever it is that the money it costs, the, the social capital you might lose. Like some women, right, they lose social capital when they start to hire people to help them. Girlfriends get jealous. Girlfriends make comments. Oh, you have this, you do that, you, you. How must be nice, I think when you, if you were to add up how much it actually costs us to delegate elements of our time to get it back, when you really do the math, are you willing to forego a few of these things so that you could have that. I'm willing to bet that you are. So your resource in time isn't just about feeling better and having more emotional capacity and feeling more savoring.

It's also an investment in your success. When you are no longer tapped and zapped for time, you can think more clearly. You can Ideate more beautifully. You can have more blue sky space for your vision. You could actually have a bigger impact on the functions, the outputs, the outcomes of your business. You could actually have a bigger impact on your industry, your profession, your colleagues, other women, dare I say the world. A woman who is abundant in her time as a resource is a cycle breaker. She is a pattern destroyer and she ushers in new innovative, non existent methods and practices that have never existed.

So we don't just need you to harness your resource of time for you. We need you to harness your resource of time for all of us. I don't want you folding fitted sheets if you suck at it. I want you to take that idea that you wake up with in the morning, but by the time it's noon, you don't have any capacity left to work on it because your time has been so smushed. I want you to give all of us the gift of space so that that idea can actually become a thing in the world. That idea can actually become a job that you add to your business that you pay another person for and you impact a whole other family for. But because you said yes to a bunch of crap that you don't want to do and that you don't have time for, like the ripple impact on not just your world, but everyone who could potentially be impacted by that is real. So let's make a love and loathe.

Let's ask ourselves, why do I keep saying yes to things I loathe? And let's be honest about the real reason. And in my sage round table, that's where we do that live transformative coaching and communicating with one another to unearth that and dispel that and get rid of that. Because it's a lie. Women believe they are entirely too obligated to give their time to people and experiences and projects and events that they do not need to give their time to. And I'm asking you to believe me just for a minute. Go make that list. I can't wait to hear what you come up with. I'll see you on the next episode.